I was given the book Leadership and Self-Deception, (I’m thinking, that was a hint J) but it opened my eyes to a life of deception and betrayal that I never knew existed. Sounds like a cheesy romance novel, doesn’t it? But it’s not. It is the reality I have created for myself, one where I live outside of God’s will. The world where I am the hero and everyone else is the villain. Where I jump tall buildings, fly at the speed of light and save the world one evil co-worker at a time. This world I enter is not only De-cep-tion, but Self-De-cep-tion! It the practice of deliberately making somebody believe things that are not true, it is an act, trick or device intended to deceive none other than myself. That’s right, the life of pride that strips me of God’s best just because I think I get the glory. Satan is the father of deception and he loves it when I come to visit, he makes me believe I am the super hero, invincible when I transform from the ordinary Tammy Polk, HR Director into a costume that hides my identity and magically gives me all power and insight. Why do I visit there? Why do I desire that mystical life? It’s simple…It’s all about me, that’s why.
I am sure that no one else struggles with pride as much as I do, that is why God talked about it at least 151 times in the Bible. You see, my pride does not compare to your life of pride, just like my favorite Super Hero’s, we each have our own unique deceptive powers. What you would consider deceptive and prideful, I might just laugh at! But every day I pack my bags and take a trip to a world that is comfortable, where I rule, where I am the smartest, where everybody likes me, where I am the skinniest with cut muscles and where everyone thinks I am the prettiest. I admit, those trips are fun and break up the reality of life but they drive me further away from God’s will and the people I serve every day. Those trips keep me from seeing people as people and it sets me up to see them as objects. People are smart, and no matter what I’m doing to mask my feelings about them, they are responding to how I’m feeling about them on the inside. Let me give you an example, I used to travel quite a bit with my last job and I would grow tired of sitting by people in the small space we are allotted. Since I was a frequent flyer, I would get on the plane first. I would take up the overhead space with my carry-on luggage and then I would spread out all my stuff on the seat next to me, hoping no one would sit there. As people walked down the aisle I would pier over my magazine and smile all the while I was thinking “are you going to invade my space?” Now did that make even the least bit of sense? I mean really if they bought the seat, my stuff on their seat was not going to prevent them from sitting in it. But what I was really saying was, if you bought this seat, you should really try to find another one as you are totally inconveniencing me! I was seeing each passenger as an object, as if their need for a seat was far less than my need for personal space. There is no doubt in my mind that even though I smiled at every passenger, they knew I was an arrogant princess that wanted nothing to do with them. Now on the flip side of that just to show you I am not all bad, I did once move to a middle seat so a newly married couple could sit together. I saw that their need to sit together was greater than my need to be comfortable. Did you see that I moved to a middle seat? I saw them as people that wanted to be together, not as objects that were going to annoy me.
How do you view people? As people or as objects? Over the course of the next few weeks we will dive deeper into the topic of people as people and the role that self-deception plays in that map in your mind. Are you willing to Stand and be moved by God during this time?
Join me on a trip of a lifetime, Tammy