My husband and 2 children took a 4 week tour of the Midwest this summer. They went to 12 states in 29 days and saw every tourist attractions in each city they slept. One of their favorites was the St. Louis Zoo. I think it was their favorite because they got to see a monkey named after me. They were kind enough to take a picture of “Tammy, the Smarty Pant’s Monkey.” They laughed hard when they told me all about her and the crazy things she did, they thought she was a perfect likeness to me. Not sure I appreciate the similarities but I thought I would humor you with her picture and a good laugh!
It made me think about my name and are, our behaviors bound to our name? Are all “Tammy’s smarty pants?” Well, I don’t know any other Tammy’s so I won’t create a stereotype like that, but how many times do we actually stereotype people because of their name? Have you ever created an identity for a person you have spoken with on the phone because you haven’t actually met them? It is human nature to fill in the gaps with something familiar to you. I have, I spent about 6 months talking to a co-worker in Chicago named Howard. I expected Howard to be short, bald, over weight and a jolly older gentleman. Much to my surprise he was tall, blond and in his early 40’s. Not at all the man I created in my mind. I had to break down and tell him how I had created him and to this day we still laugh about it.
Everyone stereotypes, it is natural to categorize people so we can simplify our world. It is impossible to know everyone all over the world so in order to better manage and stabilize our worlds we use our past experiences to make generalizations about others. The bad thing about generalizing people is we usually look for behavior that validate our preconceptions and disregard that which does not fit. We continue to collect evidence to prove what is now turning into a prejudice and ignore that which proves otherwise. You have to be very careful to not assume that all “Tammy’s are actually Smarty pants!”
Some ways to control your stereotypes are:
1. Challenge stereotypically statements – both yours and others, find ways to disprove the stereotype
2. Examine your own assumptions, look for similarities among people rather than differences
3. Break Down Barriers, sit with someone you don’t know at lunch
4. Be Honest with Yourself, don’t allow your thoughts to control your behaviors
These simple steps can help you re-train yourself to challenge those knee-jerk assumptions you have been carrying around about others. It sure is a good thing I get a new name in Heaven so I don't always have to be known as a "Smarty Pants."
Enjoy your laugh, Tammy aka Smarty Pants