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Love is! Well at least that’s what Damon Waynes tells Stacy Dash in the 1992 movie “Mo’ Money.” But Paul told us about the freedom a believer can have in Christ’s love when he wrote 1 Corinthians 10:23 and Galatians 5:13-14. (Below are the Tammy-versions of these verses)
Everything is permissible – but not beneficial
Everything is permissible – but not constructive
Everything is permissible – but I will not be mastered by anything
Do not use your freedom for the flesh - but for love in serving one another
Paul said we were free from the law of old in three little words “everything is permissible.” And then essentially he asks us to make a choice, the choice to choose love. Choose God over what is permissible; choosing to please God in every moment, in every day and in every way.
Life brings so many choices every day; what to wear, what to eat, who to spend time with, what to say or what not to say. We face a million choices in our mind and we can replay these choices in our head, rehearsing what we could have said, what we did say, if only we would have said it this way or that way because out of the mouth comes the overflow of the heart. Does your mouth reflect your heart? He calls us to give love to all through service but what happens when you don’t feel equipped to serve? Not ever. It is not your natural state of being. Serving others is a frustrating, annoying and a downright drag to you but you do it anyway, out of obedience hoping the feelings will come. Or maybe you have a servant’s heart but you are tired and broken down from always being the one giving.
God says come to me, ask and it will be given to you. He can change even the ugliest attitude. He has the power to raise the dead; he can surely turn you into a person willing to serve another. But he is not going to do it like Clark Kent changes into Superman; He wants you to voluntarily choose what is right. He delights in your journey to get to know him better, to serve his people and to watch as you fall in love with Him. He has the ability to spark the passion of service in even the coldest, hardest heart. If you call on Him, He will answer!
Let this be your prayer…Lord, please tender my heart as a heart that wants to benefit others, that wants to constructively expand Your Kingdom, and that can have a passion for someone other than for self. I know you have given me the believer’s freedom and that you tell me everything is permissible but show me self control in the “everything.” Break my heart for what is not permissible and then reveal to me who you want me to serve in a selfless, sacrificial love. Let me demonstrate your presence in my life by serving in love. Amen!
Serving you in Love…Tammy
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I’ve heard it many times coming from people sitting on the other side of my desk… “I’ve just lost my passion.” Really, lost your passion, huh? Nope, you haven’t lost your passion. You just redirected it to something else. You have made a choice to either not make use of it or you intentionally let it die so you no longer possess it. Sometimes God redirects our passion for us when he is getting ready to move us to a new level in our relationship with Him. Paul is the prime example of a man who had his passion redirected by God, he listened and went to a new level. I have seen many people being redirected by God only to fight it every step of the way and miss out on what God was asking them to do because they would not change. Pharaoh refused to listen as God was redirecting his passion (yep, 10+ times, God is way more patient than me!)
Passion is a tricky emotion because it is just that, it’s an emotion. You can have the intensity one day and not the next. Passion is a deceiving little bugger, it makes you think you need to have that overmastering, reckless feeling, the one that drives you away from any amount of reason and sense to think you have it, but it's not true. You can have a consistent drive and love for God’s will everyday without the emotional highs and lows associated with the worldly view of passion.
I have had people in my office telling me all the reasons they should quit their job because they lost their passion but then they never quit. God has a way of making us discontent and disconnected with where we are so we will move, but some people just stay and become negative and miserable. If only they would have just listened to God and moved they may not have wasted their talents and made so many other people around them miserable by staying put. You’ve seen it too, the lifer at a company or a church who just does enough to get by, sits in his cube not making a difference, has a negative attitude and management does nothing about it because he has been “loyal” for 20 years. A no win situation. He has not contributed in years and his bad attitude is contagious, in fact it even runs off the contributors because they don’t understand why he is still around.
In my wisdom (not age, mind you J), now when people come to my office and confess all the reasons they should leave their job because they lost their passion, I ask them… “Do you want me to talk you into it or talk you out of it?” I also forewarn them, that if I talk them out of leaving then I will not allow them to have a negative attitude, they are to serve with all their heart, with all their soul, with all their mind and with all their strength.
So why do we think we lose our passion, could it be because it is not in line with God’s will? As they say in Texas, “might could!” If that is the case do you just wake up one day and your passion has changed? Might could, ask Paul. Or a scarier thought, you have total control over the passion God has placed in your heart and you have the choice to redirect it. Ouch, that means you might actually have to be accountable for your choices.
So how do you get your passion back in line with God's will? Simple, well, simply said, much harder to apply! Matthew 22:37 says it all…“Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your mind.” Give God your “everything.” (I love blogging while listening to Lincoln Brewster, thanks for the line Lincoln!) God is a jealous God and he wants our “everything.” Once He has it, He can direct our passion. When He is in control of our passion, it will certainly line up with His will (might, could!) and it will be pretty hard to lose. Now, He might redirect it but then at least we know we are still walking in His passion.
Redirect your passion today to the true One and Only and then enjoy the passion He has in store for you! Givin' my all to Jesus! Tam
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Yes we are! It has been such fun to be a part of preparing for our Dynamic Church Conference especially now that we are just 14 short days away from some real fun! We started preparing for DC08 last June and we are now finally getting down to the finishing touches. I am excited for all of the attendees that are currently signed up and if you have not signed up yet, I am praying for you because there is still time!
I just wanted the DC08 attendees to know that prayer is an integral part of Fellowship Technologies' culture and you may receive an email or a call from one of our staff to ask how we can specifically pray for you in the next 14 days. We know from experience that Satan does not really like us to have this much fun advancing God’s Kingdom so sometimes he throws some distractions our way. Each member of our staff is honored to pray specifically for 6 attendees by name. Please let us know how we can serve you at DC08 through prayer or with any of your conference needs.
Safe travels and I will see each of you in a few short days! In Him, Tammy
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Some days I just feel like running away from my life! Ever felt that way? Well then, just add your name to that blank in the title. Sometimes, I feel it and I know you do too, the pressures, the failures, the needs of others, the demands we put on ourselves and then there are all the bills from the last time I needed to run away and went to the mall instead! J But God did not design me to run away and escape, he trained me to walk through the fire with Him, so He chases me down, steals my heart, wipes away my tears, breaks the chains and says to me in his fatherly voice, “no one can take your place, I designed this all for you…for you to do my work, plant my seeds and water what I want watered, it’s not about you!”
He has called me into this exact place and time for His purpose to work out His will in my life and the people’s lives around me, HIS PLAN, not mine. All He wants from me is for me to say “yes” and be willing to walk in His will. He calls me to be balanced in how I act because I am representing Him. He does not want the reckless girl I can be in my natural state. He calls me higher to have self control, set boundaries, to be kind, gentle and joyful in all circumstances. But I say “it’s too hard, I can’t do it!” So then He calls me to say “no,” sometimes, even to good things. He says my love for you never fails, Tammy, it is inexhaustible so find peace and safety in me. Let me be your sanctuary. Come to me and wait patiently because my kindness will make you tender. He remindes me that He can melt my cold, hard heart. Other days he calls me to fight, because faith fights. It fights against wrongs toward others, it fights against doubt, it fights against injustice, faith fights for those who cannot fight for themselves. Moment by moment, faith fights Satan because God knows character matters.
I am not sure where he has called you today but I pray that you know His love for you is inexhaustible! Don’t try to run from Him, because He will always find you and ask you to work out His will. Instead run to Him, the rewards and the blessings far out way the attitudes we sometimes have. Let Him change your attitude and become joyful about walking in His will even when it may be the hardest thing you have ever done. You are not lost and you are not alone, He has you cradled in His arms. Rest in Him and keep fighting the good fight to advance His Kingdom.
Let Him capture your heart today and put you back in the spot He designed you to be in.
In Him, Tammy
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Is happiness a feeling or a choice? I think it is kind of like being in love…you just know when you are. People have tried to put words to love for years; poets, songwriters, even artists but only you know what it feels like when you are in love just like only you know what it feels like when you are truly happy.
How about being happy at work? Can you get happy just because someone else is happy? Does your boss have to make you happy? Must your co-workers entertain you to make you happy? Does the type of work matter to your happiness level? Do you choose your mood or do you let your mood choose you? I believe happiness is our choice at work. No one controls my moods but me, now some people try but it is my choice to let them isn’t it? I learned a long time ago that my happiness is totally in my control. Once I realized that I had the control, my life got much less complicated.
I didn’t have to worry about what other people said to me, what other people did to me or what I heard through the grapevine because I was in control of whether I was going to let it affect me. I decided no matter what, I would give 100% of myself to my job, my co-workers and my boss despite what they said to me, how they said it or what they did. Now that doesn’t mean I don’t get upset every now and then…but my circumstances don’t affect my level of happiness! I choose to be happy, everyday.
Will you choose happiness with me? Will you create your own adventure at work or will you let other people control you? It is totally up to you!
Join me with a J Tammy
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Full-On. A term I learned this weekend at church…meaning you are fully connected to whatever you are doing; sports, church, a friendship, being a mom or dad or your relationship with God. I thought about the intensity in which I get fully focused on things and this term clicked for me. I can be so focused on being the best wife, the best mom, the best HR Director or a best friend that I forget to be “full-on” with God.
I am giving everyone else what I think is my best and leaving the left-over’s for God. And I would have to say what I am giving them is ugly at best because I am doing it on my own. The demands of the world tend to change my priorities, how about yours? Oh don’t get me wrong, I start my day out right by walking in obedience; I pray, I study God’s Word and I ask God to fill me up. But by about 9:00, I let everyday life consume me and I go about things on my own, there’s the key phrase again, on my own.
So, I have started doing something new each day, I simply try to please God. I seek only His favor and follow His precept. In doing this I am a good wife, a good mom, a good HR Director and a good friend. It takes the focus off of me and puts it where it was designed to be, full-on with God.
I challenge you today to simply try to please God and watch as all the other stuff just fall in place.
Enjoy being Full-On with God! Tammy
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Why do you stay in the job you are in? Really, why do you? Have you thought about it? Do you stay because you are afraid there is nothing else out there? Or maybe it is because you are just comfortable and you don’t feel like looking for another job, so you just do enough to get by and to collect your paycheck. All the while you slowly become disconnected from those around you.
On the contrary, what if you stay because you feel connected? And you feel a sense of purpose in your role that is bigger than just you? What if you like the people who sit in the cube next to you and across the hall, what if you feel connected to them? Will it make you want to work harder, work smarter, be more creative and stay to grow more into your role or move up the ladder?
The best leaders I know make emotional connections with their people. I am sure I am not alone in that assessment, just think back to your favorite boss, did you feel an emotional connection to him or her? My favorite bosses have always made me feel like I was their only direct report. Here are a few of the qualities they all shared:
o Being responsive, by email and phone
o Intensely concentrating on me when we were meeting, not answering their phone or email
o Giving clear and concise direction in ways I could understand
o Allowing me to be creative with projects, not dictating the way it had to be done
o Challenging me personally and professionally
o Listening even when I knew they did not have the time
o Praising me in the ways I receive praise like quality time and gifts
o Asking and genuinely caring about the things that are important to me
o Understanding that even though I bounce like Tigger all day long, some days I just feel like Eeyore
What qualities about your favorite boss involve an emotional connection to you personally? Do they also do the same things for each of their direct reports? Some connections happen immediately, while others take time to develop. Connections are a two way street, do you allow your boss to connect with you emotionally or do you have your walls built too high? Remember bosses are real people too, with real emotions and real feelings (well, most of them, I have worked with a few not so good ones too!)
Connecting with your boss is a part of life but what about connecting with your Church Management System? Strange connection point I know, but what if I told you, you could connect with the people who built it and the people who use it every day. You can develop a deep connection with the staff of Fellowship Technologies and over 400 other users of Fellowship One at the Dynamic Church Conference.
Please consider making a bigger connection with Fellowship One this year through the conference. We know some of you are experts in Fellowship One and could really help other users.
Can’t wait to connect with you in May! Tammy
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People look at me in amazement when I tell them about what I learned at my dinner table when I was young. You see, my mother made 4 different meals every night so that each one of us would eat what was served. My sister Dawn would not eat dairy except ice cream, so she got ice cream every night. Debbie would not eat any food that touched some other food so her food was always carefully placed to ensure she would eat. My Dad would not eat “rabbit food” so he had meat and potatoes. And me…I would not eat peas, Yuk! And my mom, bless her heart, she ate a combination of the 4 other meals she prepared. Oh, and the rule in our house was you never had to eat everything on your plate, just eat what you wanted and leave the rest.
I never dreaded coming to the table, I never tried to feed my dog under the table. Dinner time was a time of nourishment that was catered specifically to me, great conversation, (a little teasing Debbie, who I could make run from the table crying by opening my mouth with chewed food) and a life lesson Dad would teach. Dinner time was 5:00, Mom was consistent, all 5 of us, every day.
The Christian Band, Leeland has a great song called “Carried to the Table.” As a child of God, I have a choice to take my seat at the Table of the Lord, but how many times do I stay outside to play or throw what He has for me to the dog under the table or I slip out of my seat and hide under the table in shame.
When I think about it I don’t belong at His table, but everyday he sweeps me away and carries me to His table, consistent, just like my Mom. He chooses me, He asks me to sit with Him, He prepares a meal specifically for me. When I look at the other people sitting at the table with me their plates don’t look anything like mine. My plate is bright pylon orange with hot pink poke a dots, but the man sitting next to me, his plate is just plain light blue and the girl across from me has light pink flowers all over her plate. The funny thing is they are all excited by the decorated plate they have, just like I am. It was catered to our personality. And our cups, they each have a different measure in them, some are barely filled, others are filled to the brim, yet as I look around, others have half full/half empty cups depending on my perspective that meal.
But what I do notice, that is different than my childhood dinner table, is that we all have the same food on the plate. We are all learning the same biblical principals just in different quantities. My plate has a large helping of submission and self control while I see others with large helpings of letting go of fear, or learning to have confidence or learning to be honest, or being less prideful. All plates that would be easier for me to swallow but God know’s I don’t need that nourishment right now. He knows I must eat of submission and self control.
He has catered to me so why is it so hard to accept the food on my plate? Why are His life lessons harder to take than my Dad’s? Maybe, because it is fun to stay outside and play? Or what if He asks me to try the mushy peas of self control or submit everything on my plate? Fear strikes that I am not good enough, I am weak, I am broken, I am lost and alone so I slip off my chair and sit under the table with the dog.
He says “No, get back in your seat.” Choose me, I chose you! He shows me biblical hope that He has the master plan and I just have to eat what He has set before me. It may be mushy but He will be there sitting next to me encouraging me to do what’s right. He will cradle me with His Love, His Grace and His Mercy. In my weakness under the table, I realize I am still sitting in His Holy presence, I am healed and unashamed. I don’t see my brokenness anymore so I climb back up and take my rightful seat at His Table. Prepared for what He has to give me, the nourishment I need, the life lessons and even a little teasing!
What is on your decorated plate today? And what does your plate look like?
God does not need your capabilities, He just needs your availability!
Come sit at the Table of the Lord with me. Dinner time is 5:00, sharp! Tammy
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Trust each other’s intentions.
That is a huge statement. Think about that a minute…trusting someone else’s intentions toward you. WOW!
I can apply that to my walk with the Lord and essentially every relationship I encounter I can put to the test of “do I trust their intentions toward me?”
Psalm 3:5 says “Trust in the Lord, with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight!”
He is calling us to trust His intentions toward us this year, will you take the step of faith and believe God for who He is and for what He can do…if we trust his intentions.
What if you take it a step further and actually trust the intentions of the people in your everyday life? How much better of a spouse would you be, how much better of an employee would you be, how much better of a friend would you be? I challenge you to take away the barriers that are causing you not to fully trust the intention of those closest to you. Hopefully, you can find the freedom to be the child God designed you to be by first trusting His intentions toward you and then trusting others.
Just Believe Him,
Tammy
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What are you pursing today? It is that time of year to re-evaluate what we want to change in life, I see it all around Fellowship Technologies, some people are in search of career advancements or to be more organized, to get in shape or to be more loving and forgiving or to show more respect. All worthy and noble goals but really the only goal to pursue in 2008 is to grow deeper in your relationship with Jesus Christ, the One and Only. To be called His loved one is more than enough. You will never find a love like His! He calls us to be better than we are, to die to self and fill up with the Holy Spirit for His glory. Just so others will want to know and be loved by Him, like you.
I have found that all the goals I set are really all about what I think will bring me more significance, which is all together wrong and sinful. I know I am not alone in this goal setting style but it always amazes me how many people want power without reason, want control so they can be at the center of attention, want instant wealth and want glory and praise from others. Why, like me, are so many people stuck in the rut of “I can do it, myself!” Why is it so hard to say “I can’t? But God can!” maybe because we might actually have to surrender our all to Jesus and sacrifice to self. Isn’t it true that the only genuine happiness comes from living in the will of God and obeying Him? Let’s do just that this year, let’s pursue God with that same intoxicating passion that we pursue all of our other goals. But let’s make sure this is one goal we follow through on!
Pursue with Passion, Tammy
My determined purpose is that I may know Him, that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His person. Phil 3:10
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New Year’s Day brings the usual vows to give up something negative in our life, like smoking or cutting back on debt or to stop drinking too much or eating unhealthy. We wrap up all of our 2007 old habits, in the left over Christmas wrap, and package them nicely into our New Year’s Resolution.
I think, the best resolutions are about doing something positive instead of giving up something negative. Like what? You might ask. Well, how about just moving forward. Moving forward in our thinking, simplifying, working smarter not harder, loving more, forgiving more or showing random acts of kindness, are all positive things that can really impact you more fully as well as those around you.
Woody Allen said “eighty percent of success is just showing up.” Well that might work in the movie industry but I am not quite sure that works in the real world. If we apply that concept then we are really not using what God gave us, He designed us to work and I am confident He did not just mean 20% of the time. So, what if we take Woody Allen’s concept of showing up for success and apply the moving forward concept in our work environment:
Show up 100% of the time, people are depending on you. But if you are sick stay home, we don’t want to get it!
When you are at work; work. Slow the socializing, just because you have a lull in your day does not mean everyone else does too. Interruptions waste time, research shows that it takes the average person 5 minutes to refocus after an interruption.
Glance back at your past to draw from experience, but don’t stare! Does anyone really need to be reminded about what you did last year, in your last job or in college? The past is tricky, like Satan, it tries to trap you into believing the good old days were better than they really were. Guess what, they are over, learn from them and move forward.
Be creative, God made each of us in His image and He is a creative God. If you are not naturally creative, research your problem until you can borrow ideas from someone else who is. Nothing is new under the sun.
Embrace change, good or bad. If it is a good change for you, enjoy it, really enjoy it. If it is something you perceive as bad then figure out what got you into that position and choose to change your attitude.
When the weather outside is frightful is your outlook still sunshine? Every day you have a choice to be negative or positive the choice is solely up to you. Choose wisely.
Simplify. Nice concept, hard to apply. What things can you eliminate out of your life so you can refocus on the right priorities? God first, family second, work third.
Love others more, love the people that matter the most…your spouse, your children, your extended family, your friends, your co-workers and get this one…even your enemies!
Forgive more, that starts by forgiving your-self first and then practice forgiveness on others by not acting on what your thinking. Yikes try that one, it is hard!
Show random acts of kindness, it is amazing the joy you can receive by doing something kind to those you work with.
2008, it’s a New Year. I pray you make positive changes to advance the Kingdom of God. Maybe, just maybe if we give 100% every day instead of 80% by just showing up we can do what God wants us too instead of what we want to.
Just keep moving forward, Tammy
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I am passionate about the men and women I work with every day. They bless me in every area of my life so I hope I can show you just a glimpse of how they show love all year long and what makes Fellowship Technologies such a wonderful company to be connected to…
1. Kingsley, you show you care, by a look in your eye and a smile
2. Marie, you pray…for everyone
3. Kara, you participate, even when it is hard or inconvenient
4. Suzee, you are real and you sing His joy
5. Winnetta, you are grateful and show others how to be
6. Ryan, you make others feel good about how God hard-wired them
7. Rick, you listen, that is huge!
8. Errol, you smile, genuinely ask others about themselves & then listen
9. Tara, you always find a way to make it better
10. Lance D, you are an infectious learner and it shows
11. Steve, you step up to help shape others
12. Jared, you silently make things better
13. Misty, you make us laugh
14. Kevin, you are always dependable, Mr. Breakfast Club
15. Harris, you want more for FT
16. Tim H, you pray with great confidence
17. Mark H, you are truly an example of a Godly man
18. Hook, you give of yourself, everyday
19. Allen, you make life easier for a bunch of us
20. Erin, you speak the truth, in love even when it is hard to hear!
21. Jeremy, you show you care with kind words of encouragement
22. Rocky, you share your time and even your sugar wafers
23. Jason, you always have a tender heart
24. Jeff L, you keep us on our toes
25. Mark L, you remind us strength does not have to be loud
26. Lance L, you show us how to push to get what we want
27. Scott, you are passionate about what you do
28. Tudor, you show us how to make our temples worthy for the Holy Spirit to dwell
29. Tim L, you humbly work for the Lord 24/7
30. David, you are comfortable being around diversity aka lots o’ girls!
31. Mark M, you want to make others better followers of Christ
32. Matt M, you push to do what’s right and have great stories because of it
33. Chad, you step out of your comfort zone, and surprised us all
34. Lisa, you make sure everyone is included
35. Wil M, you just throw stuff and see how it lands then you make it all better
36. Ricardo, you have strength in the Lord
37. Mayce, you turn up the volume on life at FT
38. JP, you show God’s vision to the local church
39. DRez, you just fix it and move on
40. Rice, you Believe God and that is powerful
41. Rush, you bring joy in your acts of service and quick wit
42. Dennis, you make sure all the details are taken care of
43. Peter, you open your heart up to everyone, even those you just meet
44. Jas, you willingly drop everything to help others
45. Simmons, you’ve changed for all to see and we love what we see
46. Marino, you keep trying no matter what
47. Will S, you bring us humor and fun
48. Patrick, you are willing to take chances for God
49. Matt V, you rock the boat so we can move
50. John, you sacrificed for the Kingdom
51. Maggie, you are seeing yourself the way God sees you
52. BeVo, let me count the ways…you impact everybody with love!
53. Haley, you are a bright light in a dark world
54. Jingyi, you have endurance and keep after the prize
55. Bill, you bring the ideas and the coffee
56. Geoff, you fit into the madness and make sense of it all
57. Nancy, you willingly offer others your time and assistance
58. Chris, you persevere, not matter what God throws your way
59. Nick, you just give love to all through your servant heart
I love each of you for how God designed you, thank you for impacting my world this year and making it such a wonderful life! I can’t wait to see what’s in store for 2008.
Enjoy God this Christmas and let’s show love to all, Tam
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A few years ago, this question was posed to my daughter, Allie, who was about 8 at the time. I stood there in wonder waiting for her response like any good mother would. She thought for a minute and then with a big smile on her face she said…“You know, we do Jesus everyday so really for me it is all about the presents!”
I wasn’t quite sure if I was mortified or proud. When I had time to reflect, I was proud of her, because we do, do Jesus everyday at our house. Christmas is not the only time we think about God all year long, we engage in quiet times, we use everything as a teachable moment with the kids, we pray, we study His Word, we attend Church every week, we volunteer every week, we attend on Wednesday nights and we are totally connected in growing our relationship with God as a family and individually.
So I guess then, like Allie those of us in a confident relationship with God everyday can enjoy the gifts under the tree because God is blessing us with the tangibles, this wonderful time of year.
But enough thinking about ourselves and what we get this year, this is the time of the year that most of the world only thinks about God. What are we doing to engage the lost this year at Christmas? What are we doing to comfort the hurting? What are we doing to ease the single parent’s stress? What are we doing to reach the kids before it’s too late? What impact are you having with all the intangibles? Can you wrap up salvation and hand it out? Can you engage someone with a smile, or an act of kindness? Can you give away a hug or two? Can you write or call someone that you have not spoken to all year? How are you connecting with all the people who visited your church this year? Are you using the data you have in Fellowship One to reach out and connect with the most important thing this year, which is loving people who stepped foot in your world?
What can you personally do today to show how you do Jesus every day of the year?
Just give love to all, Tammy
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Transparency is to show oneself; having the proper transmittal of light (for our purposes we are going to assume this light is from God); free from pretense or deceit and readily understood. All of those definitions are great when you are trying to create a holistic work environment where people are growing personally, professionally and spiritually. In order to grow personally you have to show “who” you are and what you know, to grow professionally you have to be readily understood without pretense or deceit and to grow spiritually others need to be able to see the light of God transmitted through you. All good definitions to follow, unless boundaries are crossed with others! God wants us to be transparent but He desires our transparency to be with Him completely and not necessarily with the people we live and work with each day.
How much transparency is too much? Are we supposed to say everything that comes to our mind? Are we supposed to show our true colors to everyone? Nope, I don’t think so, yet so many of us get comfortable with those we work with and we think we can say and do just about anything because we are being “transparent.” We think it is “healthy” to get it all out on the table. We think because we have certain boundaries that everyone else has those same boundaries. But the harsh reality is that not everyone can handle our transparency and not everyone has had the same life experiences so they view situations differently than we do. We think that because we are “Christians” that we will be forgiven when we wrong another with just an “I’m sorry, you know the way I am.”
God gifted each of us with emotions. He also gifted us with the Holy Spirit in order to guide those emotions. Lots of you know Galatians 5:22-23, but the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. This passage reminds us that if we live in the spirit we will produce those emotional fruits. My last post talked about “putting on love” to those around you, even when you don’t feel like it. Just like practicing putting on love, we have to practice controlling our emotions.
One area we can grow into is; learning to use our emotions to think, but not to think with our emotions. So often we get that backwards and we think with our emotions, which causes us to say and do things that we sometimes regret later, it is transparency without boundaries at its finest! We should practice being an observer to our emotions rather than a reactor to our emotions. This is probably the longest life lesson for some of us with a little more energy, curiosity and passion than others. We should be truthful about our emotions to God and then He will guide us in how to use our mind and those emotions to bring Him glory.
I don’t want to discourage you from being transparent with others. But what I do want to encourage you to do is to set clear boundaries with your transparency. Without clear boundaries for yourself and others, you can impact someone’s life without really realizing it. Everyone should have a few close co-workers, Christian friends and family that they can share everything about themselves with but choose wisely and set clear boundaries ahead of time. When you cross another person’s boundary; repent.
Here are a few reminders in how to safely use transparency:
In a safe environment with a trusted person…YES
If you are reacting with a God-Honoring response…YES
If it causes you to be disobedient to God’s Word…NO
If it is going to cause another person to sin…NO
If it is going to cause another person unnecessary grief…NO
Practice makes perfect and I pray you will practice observing your emotions rather than reacting to your emotions and learning to use your emotions to think rather than thinking with your emotions. God can change us!
Just Believe Him! Tam
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I have always been accused of being a passionate, curious and even a stubborn person. It all started when I was 9 months old…I’m teasing, but I do have some stories to back those accusations! “Smart” was really never on that list that people would describe me as, in fact many would say I was only in school for social reasons. I would have to agree with them, but God has gifted me with the ability to accurately read people when it comes to emotional intelligence and character qualities. It has been a gift that has been refined my entire life and I believe God has been working on me more and more because of the role He placed me in at Fellowship Technologies. He knew when I would most need to use the skills He gifted me with, right here, right now.
Why do you think I say Curiosity and Passion are greater than a person’s IQ? Is it because I am trying to justify my lack of intelligent quotient? Nah, I embrace the way God designed me! My view is defined because I think curiosity and passion are both action verbs but an intelligence quotient is a stagnant thing unless you put some action behind it. Both curiosity and passion require action. Curiosity means you are eager to acquire more information…eager is the key word here. When you are eager to do something, change something, be innovative, move people then change happens. Jesus was curious about life, He was curious about people. Passion is described as a powerful emotion, boundless enthusiasm and even the suffering of Christ in the period following the Last Supper. Boundless enthusiasm; that just excites me…let’s go, let’s change, let’s move…it is embracing the changes set in front of us with joy. Embracing change is such a difficult concept for most people. But why? I mean we see it written all over the pages of the Bible. Why can’t we follow in the footsteps of Abraham, John, Moses, Ruth, the Mary’s and dare I say Jesus? My theory is that God designed cautious people too and I happen to live with 2 of them so they can balance out the boundless enthusiasm.
How do those of us with “boundless enthusiasm” or should I say the Fellowship Once Champions of the church help those cautious people embrace the adventure God has placed before them, like the big change of adopting Fellowship One. We love them through it, that’s how! We pray that they will see what God has in store for the church by fully utilizing Fellowship One. As the Fellowship One Champion, we have to create a climate that is trusting, safe and open where they can share their fears and then you can help them overcome their fear and resistance and move onto commitment. We have to hold their hand through the process and then we must have endurance coupled with persistence to move them forward. We have to do this by setting Fellowship One up with clear content, relative to their part of the church process, be organized in a logical sequence so they can really see the impact of Fellowship One on their work environment, if we don’t relate it to them personally, they will not see the need to change. Those are just the first steps, but the hardest part is yet to come, we have to brainstorm with them on the process and how they can use Fellowship One. This is a critical process that will really need to be in a one on one learning session to fully engage them and you have to bring out thier ideas so they won't jump on board. This is going to take some time but the results will be much more rewarding because they will produce effective results for your church as well as their personal understanding of how they are moving God’s Kingdom by connecting with the people of the church through Fellowship One.
Go forth, you Fellowship One Champions, with boundless enthusiasm! Change the way the Church does business so we can reach more people for Christ!
I’m praying you keep your boundless enthusiasm! Tammy
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